y doorbell rang. Yay! Another unannounced visitor. Of course, it startled me and threw me out of my concentration because it’s quite loud and annoying.
I feel like a prisoner in my own home. Why? Because I refuse to answer the door. So I go into hiding until the intruder leaves.
Sometimes they persist on standing there for 5 minutes, knock-knock-knocking away.
Can’t you read my doormat?
That just strengthens my pissed-off resolve to NOT satisfy them. Go ahead, waste your life like you’re wasting mine.
I don’t care if you’re the president. CALL FIRST. Is that so hard to do?
And then leave a message, because I won’t answer the phone. (see above for reason)
Better yet, text.
Because if I don’t hear from you before that doorbell rings, I’ve decided you’re a solicitor. And no, I’m not interested in joining your religious cult. BYYYYYEEEEE.
Admittedly, because of my shitty attitude toward unannounced visitors, I’ve had a few registered letters that I’ve had to pick up from the Post Office…. Oops. That’s the price I pay…
On rare, fleeting occasion, I’ll happen to be in a social mood and actually have showered before 2 pm…so if you can manage to catch me during that sweet spot, and you’re holding some candy bars, okay… I’ll be nice. 🙂
Another exception I’ll make is if you’re Wayne Brady carrying a huge check. Hell yeah, I’ll throw on some pants and sunglasses!
Secret Tip: If you’re holding a puppy, that’s my weakness… I’ll always open the door for that.
Other than that, unannounced visitor, fuck off and have a nice day.